I had my baby nearly four months ago. Immediately after his birth, I was very emotional. I got teary listening to one of the nurses, Diane, tell us about the surge of emotions that would most likely envelope me in the next few days. I got upset being told I might have to stay an extra few days because my c-section incision was 'pink' (I didn't). I got teary walking down to the car when we were being discharged from the hospital. I never imagined that this shit would still be around after four months.
Could someone please tell me what button was pushed during my son's birth to make me uber-emotional for the rest of my life?
In the past few weeks (and no, I'm not pregnant -- I've checked) I cry at everything. I cry when my baby rolls over. I cry at "Forever Young" on the radio. I cry reading an email about Applebee's inviting veterans to eat free on Veterans' Day. Seriously. I cried at that last one at work TODAY.
Pre-pregnancy, my sister used to tell me (with love) that I had no heart. In fact, I was "stone hearted" Amy. I made my fun of my mom for crying (to be fair though, it wasn't JUST for crying. It was for crying AND doing the "I'm going to stop the tears before the come" wave at her face) at... well, everything from Oprah to cat food commercials.
I was driving to work this morning -- today was the hubs' birthday, so he took the day off and spent it with the baby -- and heard the song "The Living Years" on my way. I started bawling right there in the car. At a song. About people I've never met.
Why, why, why is this happening to me? Aren't my crazy pregnancy and post-partum emotions supposed to be in check by this point? Does this get any easier?
Now, all I can think of is the baby graduating high school. The baby getting married and dancing with me at his reception. The baby and his wife having a baby. Oh god. I can feel it. The tears are coming.
What's the deal? It's as if when they took this beautiful smiley baby boy out of my uterus, they simultaneously removed my ability to remain emotionless and impartial in difficult situations.
Has anyone else gone through this? What's going on with me?
Monday, November 9, 2009
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3 comments:
Oh God yes, I am totally like that. Although I wasn't as dead inside as you were pre-baby, I certainly didn't sob when I watched that wedding video where they danced down the aisle...or The Office spoof of that video. And the horrible holiday carousel of Hallmark/jewelry/kids/grandmothers/hugs/snow commercials has turned me into a mess. I think part of is it still hormones (7 months postpartum) but a lot of it is that now I project myself as a mother into all those situations - like you said, the baby graduation, getting married, having a baby. But my mother own mother doesn't cry constantly so it must get better?
I am an emotional wreck now with no babies, I can imagine how I will be after!
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